Tag Archives: Trader Joe’s

Thoughts From the Gym, Hunger Games Edition

Is that Peeta Mellark? That’s Peeta Mellark. He’s the size of my leg. I could totally beat him at The Hunger Games. Wait, how long could I go without eating? Maybe he would beat me. My strategy would have to … Continue reading

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On Spin Class

Because the holiday season is upon us and because there is a 99.9% chance that I’m going to wind up breaking down and buying these: (and yes I’ll probably eat the entire box while sitting in my car in the … Continue reading

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On relationships. And cheating.

Remember the first time you fell in love? Exhilarating and monumental, right? The best relationships make you feel smart, sexy and content. They’re incredibly fun and extremely exciting. Until they’re not. And then you get fat. It’s inevitable, you’re feeling single, sexy and … Continue reading

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On Male Models. And Chemo.

Let me break it down: I don’t want to hear about your “bro” Brayden from Oklahoma who was pursuing a degree in political science at Columbia before a scout discovered him at a Starbucks on the UWS and put him on the billboard … Continue reading

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Fat Kid’s Thoughts (Olympic Edition)

The Fat Kid in Me has been watching the Olympics. He’s obsessed with the Olympics. He would have loved to have been an Olympic athlete once upon a time. Unfortunately he has about as much discipline as the OctoMom at … Continue reading

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Hey (Trader) Joe

Dear Joe, We have a love/hate relationship. You make some pretty nifty shit food. Your frozen Organic Brown Rice is a real treat when I need a complex carb on the quick. Your NonFat Vanilla Yogurt is da bomb, albeit … Continue reading

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