Tag Archives: Gym

Thoughts From the Gym, Hunger Games Edition

Is that Peeta Mellark? That’s Peeta Mellark. He’s the size of my leg. I could totally beat him at The Hunger Games. Wait, how long could I go without eating? Maybe he would beat me. My strategy would have to … Continue reading

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The January Gym Newbies

January is that four week period of the year where every fat kid and their mother decide to hit the gym. Case in point: Last week there was a line for the valet at my gym seven cars deep, and … Continue reading

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Douche of the Week: Guy in the Barefoot Shoes

Dear Guy in the Barefoot Shoes, Thank you. I was afraid my douche thermometer was broken, as it hadn’t reached fever pitch in quite some time. You rectified that. In fact you raised the temperature to its highest level yet. … Continue reading

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Thoughts from the Gym, Downton Abbey Edition

  If my trainer ever degraded me by having me work out right next to the snack stand I’d immediately go home and shame eat. No, Yoga Chick; do not smile at me, I will not be pulled into the … Continue reading

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On Spin Class

Because the holiday season is upon us and because there is a 99.9% chance that I’m going to wind up breaking down and buying these: (and yes I’ll probably eat the entire box while sitting in my car in the … Continue reading

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My Gym Nemesis

It shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone that I have a gym nemesis. In fact I have a few nemeses. However it was a shock to me that the plural of nemesis isn’t nemesi-because that seems way more fun … Continue reading

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On relationships. And cheating.

Remember the first time you fell in love? Exhilarating and monumental, right? The best relationships make you feel smart, sexy and content. They’re incredibly fun and extremely exciting. Until they’re not. And then you get fat. It’s inevitable, you’re feeling single, sexy and … Continue reading

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