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Tag Archives: Fat
Thoughts From the Gym, Hunger Games Edition
Is that Peeta Mellark? That’s Peeta Mellark. He’s the size of my leg. I could totally beat him at The Hunger Games. Wait, how long could I go without eating? Maybe he would beat me. My strategy would have to … Continue reading
Taylor Swift: Girl, You Need a Fat Friend
One of my favorite pastimes is shoving cake down my throat. One of my other favorite pastimes is listening to the latest Taylor Swift album, Red. It’s all sorts of amazing, like a carrot cake with a cream cheese frosting … Continue reading
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Tagged All Too Well, Britney, Britney and kevin, Britney Spears, Fat, fat kids, I Knew You Were Trouble When You walked in, Jake Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift, joe jonas, John Mayer, Jonas, jonas brothers, K-Fed, Kevin Federline, Oops...I did it again, Red, Selena Gomez, skinny, Stay Stay Stay, Talyor Swift and John Mayer, Taylor and Selena, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift Red, Taylor Swift skinny, The Moment I Knew, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
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Thoughts from the Gym, Downton Abbey Edition
If my trainer ever degraded me by having me work out right next to the snack stand I’d immediately go home and shame eat. No, Yoga Chick; do not smile at me, I will not be pulled into the … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged chocolate, Crawleys, Downton Abbey, Fat, fat kids, Gym, Kid, LA Fitness, Thoughts From the Gym, TV
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The Birth of Jesus Isn’t Gonna Ruin These Abs: Part Three (Xmas Music Edition)
If you make the following associations to these Christmas tunes, I guarantee you’ll never gain weight during the holidays again. Remember: The reason you Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night is not because your mother is … Continue reading
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Tagged All I Want for Christmas is You, Christmas, Christmas Music, Do You Hear what I hear?, Fat, Fat Kid, God Rest ye merry gentleman, Holiday Music, Holidays, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, I'll be home for chritsmas, Last Christmas, Santa Claus is coming to town, The Fat Kid, The Little Drummer Boy, The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
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On Spin Class
Because the holiday season is upon us and because there is a 99.9% chance that I’m going to wind up breaking down and buying these: (and yes I’ll probably eat the entire box while sitting in my car in the … Continue reading
Posted in Fat Kid's Thoughts, Fitness, Thoughts From the Gym, Uncategorized, Weight
Tagged diet, EDM, Fat, Fat Kid, fat kids, Flashdance, Gingerbread Men, Gym, Holidays, L.A. Fitness, Men's Health, nachos, Naturally Thin, south beach diet, spin, spin class, The Enabler, The Hobbit, Trader Joe's, twitter, workout
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Xtina, Let’s Talk: Fat Kid to Fat Kid
Girl, this is a long time coming. I can’t put it off any longer. We have to talk. Fat Kid to Fat Kid. First I want to talk about this: You gave up the right to wear lace 30lbs ago. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Burlesque, Cher, Christina Aguilera, Fat, Fat Kid, Xtina, Xtina Aguilera, Your Body
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Hey Chris Christie: Try the Salad.
Dear Gov. Christie, You and I have two things in common. We’re both from New Jersey and we both love cheese steaks. The similarities end there though because I enjoy a cheese steak once or twice a year and from … Continue reading
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Tagged cheese steak, Chris Christie, Chris Christie eat, Chris Christie fat, Chris Christie food, chris christie obese, chris christie obesity, Chris Christie speech, Chris Christie Weight, climate change, Convention, convention Tampa, Fat, Fat Kid, fat kids, global warming, heart disease, New Jersey, obesity, Philly cheese steak, Political convention, Republican Convention, science
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On relationships. And cheating.
Remember the first time you fell in love? Exhilarating and monumental, right? The best relationships make you feel smart, sexy and content. They’re incredibly fun and extremely exciting. Until they’re not. And then you get fat. It’s inevitable, you’re feeling single, sexy and … Continue reading
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Tagged cheating, Fat, Fat Kid, fat kids, Gym, Ice Cream, love, relationships, sex, Trader Joe's, trader joe's vanilla ice cream, vanilla ice cream
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On Passing Out. And General Hospital.
Remember that episode of General Hospital when Robin Scorpio passed out at the gym from working out too hard? No. Before she had HIV. I don’t know what year. Ricky Martin wasn’t livin la vida loca; he was still living in … Continue reading
Are you there God? It’s Me, the Fat Kid.
Hey God, Remember me? You gave me cancer and made me fat on top of it. Not cool. Anywho… I was thinking…There’s a way you can make it up to me. Here’s the thing: I’ve been doing Taylor Lautner’s ab … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged abs, Fat, Fat Kid, fat kids, God, goth, Kristen Stewart, Pray, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Lautner abs, Taylor Lautner's ab workout, Taylor Lautners abs, Twilight
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