Tag Archives: fat kids

The January Gym Newbies

January is that four week period of the year where every fat kid and their mother decide to hit the gym. Case in point: Last week there was a line for the valet at my gym seven cars deep, and … Continue reading

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Taylor Swift: Girl, You Need a Fat Friend

One of my favorite pastimes is shoving cake down my throat. One of my other favorite pastimes is listening to the latest Taylor Swift album, Red. It’s all sorts of amazing, like a carrot cake with a cream cheese frosting … Continue reading

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Thoughts from the Gym, Downton Abbey Edition

  If my trainer ever degraded me by having me work out right next to the snack stand I’d immediately go home and shame eat. No, Yoga Chick; do not smile at me, I will not be pulled into the … Continue reading

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On Spin Class

Because the holiday season is upon us and because there is a 99.9% chance that I’m going to wind up breaking down and buying these: (and yes I’ll probably eat the entire box while sitting in my car in the … Continue reading

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Hey Chris Christie: Try the Salad.

Dear Gov. Christie, You and I have two things in common. We’re both from New Jersey and we both love cheese steaks. The similarities end there though because I enjoy a cheese steak once or twice a year and from … Continue reading

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On relationships. And cheating.

Remember the first time you fell in love? Exhilarating and monumental, right? The best relationships make you feel smart, sexy and content. They’re incredibly fun and extremely exciting. Until they’re not. And then you get fat. It’s inevitable, you’re feeling single, sexy and … Continue reading

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On Passing Out. And General Hospital.

Remember that episode of General Hospital when Robin Scorpio passed out at the gym from working out too hard? No. Before she had HIV. I don’t know what year. Ricky Martin wasn’t livin la vida loca; he was still living in … Continue reading

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Are you there God? It’s Me, the Fat Kid.

Hey God, Remember me? You gave me cancer and made me fat on top of it. Not cool. Anywho… I was thinking…There’s a way you can make it up to me. Here’s the thing: I’ve been doing Taylor Lautner’s ab … Continue reading

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The Best Friend a Fat Kid Could Have

One of my earliest memories is being five years old and walking around the block to the candy store with the other kids from my street. It stands out for two reasons. One, I believe it was the first I … Continue reading

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Thoughts From the Gym, Vol 3

I unexpectedly gained 2lbs over the weekend so a super workout was in order. I was particularly cranky since the weight gain has me back on a restricted calorie diet. Today, at least. Well, we’ll see, the day’s not over. Thoughts… … Continue reading

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