Monthly Archives: April 2013

Puerto Rican Patrick Bateman and the Art of Gym Dodging

When I go to the gym I have to do a lot of “dodging.” I have to dodge Pasty Gym Stalker lest he slip a roofie in my BPA-free water bottle and I find myself in his basement, tied up … Continue reading

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“Hey John has anyone talked to you about renewing your membership?” Pretend you can’t hear her fuck, I’m not wearing headphones. “I’ll do it online, muchas gracias” I have to stop speaking to people in spanglish Oh look, it’s Invisalign … Continue reading

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