Thoughts From the Gym, Anakin Skywalker Edition

  1. I can’t believe I ate McDonald’s last night
  2. i mean i believe it but god
  3. im gross
  4. what am i going to listen to?
  5. Britney
  6. duh
  7. oh hey Pasty Gym Stalker
  8. i feel bloated, can you stalk someone else today?
  9. why are you always on the stairmaster?
  10. i mean…
  11. who uses the stairmaster?
  12. is that Wilford Brimley?
  13. i think he’s dead
  14. Siri: is Wilford Brimley still alive?
  15. yes
  16. that’s not Wilford Brimley
  17. ugh i wanted to use the decline bench Inept Workout Buddies
  18. [pouts for a good three minutes]
  19. I guess I’ll do something else
  20. ↔back up, I’m working out here Tall Ginger Girl↔
  21. i’m a slaaaaaaave for you/
  22. i cannot hold it/
  23. i cannot control it
  24. I can never get that hand choreography right
  25. it looks like im doing the hand jive
  26. [pulls long red hair off shirt]
  27. what the fuck
  28. ???
  29. jesus
  30. [throws shade at Tall Ginger Girl]
  31. cooze
  32. IS THAT ANAKIN SKYWALKER?
  33. OH MY GOD THAT’S ANAKIN SKYWALKER
  34. the force is not with him
  35. his mirror must be in a galaxy far far away
  36. that mustache is not the one
  37. I bet his trainer thinks he’s Yoda
  38. He’s a ginger too
  39. WTF is going on in here?
  40. did they sell a Groupon on Ginger.com?
  41. I have to text I Drive a Big Truck, But I Swear I Have a Big Dick
  42. he loves Star Wars
  43. do they make a light saber emoticon?
  44. my mom called
  45. the phone isn’t on vibrate
  46. shit
  47. what’s my ringtone?
  48. REO Speedwagon
  49. whew
  50. Oh HEY Gym Crush!
  51. where are you going?
  52. really
  53. that’s it?
  54. a CURSORY glance in my direction?
  55. it’s because I had that milkshake
  56. and that double cheeseburger
  57. and the six piece Mcnugget
  58. and the cookies
  59. fuck
  60. they’ll probably serve McDonald’s at my funeral
  61. screw you Gym Crush, I wasn’t going to say it but your hair cut looks awful
  62. i mean i can’t say it because we’ve never spoken
  63. whatever
  64. im on some other shit
  65. im not sweating you and your dumb haircut
  66. im working out next to ANAKIN so take that
  67. Oh please Tall Ginger Girl
  68. you do not know Anakin
  69. why are you talking to him
  70. ???????????????????????
  71. cooze
  72. I DONT KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT YOUR LOVE I WAS BORN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY
  73. i need a happy Britney song
  74. boys
  75. re-mix
  76. on one
  77. [bounces shoulders]
  78. im gonna get wasted at Formerly Slutty in a Funny Way’s birthday party tonight
  79. who’s driving?
  80. i could take the train
  81. [laughs]
  82. gross
  83. why does everything look fuzzy?
  84. shit I just worked out for an hour and forty-five minutes
  85. I probably only burned off half that vanilla shake
  86. womanizer/womanizer/oh you’re a/womanizer
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