- Is that Peeta Mellark?
- That’s Peeta Mellark.
- He’s the size of my leg.
- I could totally beat him at The Hunger Games.
- Wait, how long could I go without eating?
- Maybe he would beat me.
- My strategy would have to be:kill him and then eat him.
- Ugh.
- He seems like he’d be gamey.
- Why is everyone here wearing a headband except me?
- I’m glad I’m not wearing a headband.
- If aliens landed today they’d kill everyone with a headband and save me.
- A thought about your tapered leg sweatpants: NO.
- And that goes for you too, guy in the sweatpants with a zipper leg.
- My skin looks awesome.
- Probably because I’ve been going more vegan.
- Oh shit those vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
- 7 cookies at 140 calories each is…
- ugh
- where’s my phone?
- Why hasn’t anyone texted me?
- 980
- fuck
- OUCH
- That machine came outta nowhere
- Oh no I have to tell Your Facebook Status Sounds Like a Suicide Note that her bearded gym crush has terrible B.O.
- What if she stops coming to the gym?
- I can’t tell her.
- She probably wouldn’t even care.
- I still don’t have the butt I want
- fucking genetics
- My abs look better
- they’d look great if I stopped drinking
- [laughs]
- [laughs some more]
- god I’d be intolerable
- people would hate me
- “yes, actually I am using that.”
- “I’m in between sets.”
- “sure, if you wipe it down.”
- what an asshole
- now I just feel like leaving
- I can’t leave he’ll think I lied to him about being in between sets
- …
- god my hair looks good
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I ❤ these so much! I can so relate. Hilarious!
You’re hysterical. I love reading these.
PS. In regards to cutting out all sweets, I could never do it, so… May the odds be ever in your favor 🙂
I started reading your blog a week ago and damnit while it makes me laugh on the treadmill and almost fall you make my 6 miles go by faster. Did you see see Jennifer Lawrence’s dress at the GG’s? I thought I couldn’t be more in love with her and then she opened her mouth and was self deprecating and hilarious. Last, have you watched “The Taste”? It’s an unabashed rip off of “The Voice” but WITH FOOD. I just thought another fat kid at heart might wanna know. Mwah!