Thoughts from the Gym, Downton Abbey Edition

 

If Lady Edith is getting married before you, just give up.

No one tell Your Facebook Status Sounds like a Suicide Note that Lady Edith is getting married before she is.

  1. If my trainer ever degraded me by having me work out right next to the snack stand I’d immediately go home and shame eat.
  2. No, Yoga Chick; do not smile at me, I will not be pulled into the LA Fitness Circle of Trolls. I’d rather be fat. (lie)
  3. I have to spend at least half the amount of time at the gym today as I did sitting in front of the TV watching Downton Abbey and eating chocolate last night.
  4. I ate an entire pizza by myself on Saturday which basically means I’m Edith.
  5. That’s not true. I’d almost certainly run off with the help, so really I’m a Sybil.
  6. Although I throw a lot of fits so I guess I’m a Mary.
  7. Though you’d be hard pressed to get me to marry my cousin.
  8. Gym Crush’s boyfriend is here solo which can only mean one thing: the stress of the holidays tore them apart and they are never ever ever getting back together!
  9. The fact that I know who Gym Crush’s boyfriend is would lead one to believe that I spend a lot of time at the gym so where are my GD abs already?
  10. OH HEY 2nd in Position to Gym Crush, YOU LOOK GOOD TODAY LETS QUIT THIS WORKOUT AND GO GET A COFFEE BECAUSE YOLO AND WE ALREADY LOOK BETTER THAN HALF THE FATTIES HERE
  11. If Gym Crush doesn’t return from Xmas vacation soon, 2nd in Position is getting a promotion.
  12.  No, Weird -Slightly Brain Damaged -Probably a Male Escort- Guy, do not smile at me, I don’t want to share workout tips.
  13. I wonder if he makes more money than me.
  14. Everybody makes more money than me.
  15. God, I hate my life.
  16. I wish I was a Crawley.
  17. Gossiping over Tea, long afternoon walks, formal dress for dinner, a post dinner cigar/brandy, throwing shade at Edith… I could fucking rock living in Downton Abbey.
  18. Congratulations on winning the state wrestling championship in 2002 Smelly- Hooded Sweatshirt- Guy! Unfortunately that means that you’ve had that shirt for at least 10 years, and if I -who received a D+ in Pre-Calc -can do that math, then the rest of the people in this gym…oh never mind, these are some of the dumbest people I’ve ever seen in my life.
I don't have to take your test. All I have to do is pinch my lower back.

I don’t have to take your test. All I have to do is pinch my lower back.

 

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One Response to Thoughts from the Gym, Downton Abbey Edition

  1. Pingback: Douche of the Week: Guy in the Barefoot Shoes | The Fat Kid in Me

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