Monthly Archives: December 2012

Fat Kid Xmas List

A drone. Like the CIA uses- so that every time I think about getting in my car and going to Jack in the Box- I can blow it up. Fatter Friends. (Duh.) A baby. Single dads are hot and I need … Continue reading

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The Birth of Jesus Isn’t Gonna Ruin These Abs: Part Three (Xmas Music Edition)

If you make the following associations to these Christmas tunes, I guarantee you’ll never gain weight during the holidays again. Remember: The reason you Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night is not because your mother is … Continue reading

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The Birth of Jesus Isn’t Gonna Ruin These Abs: Part Two

If you’ve read this blog before you’ve met my friends The Enabler and Naturally Thin. I have another friend whose name is Your Facebook Status Sounds Like a Suicide Note. YFSSLaSN had the audacity to tell me the other night … Continue reading

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The Birth of Jesus Isn’t Gonna Ruin These Abs: Part One

There’s a lot of advice out there on how to avoid packing on the holiday pounds but most of it encourages you to rely on your own self-control. The Fat Kid isn’t having that. He doesn’t have any self-control. If … Continue reading

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