…Is a day when you are meant to not labor. Instead you’re supposed fire up the barbecue, cook something that someone else killed (assuming that you’re not like backwoods or something) and drink enough beer until you’re drunk enough to forget that you have to go back to the job you hate on Tuesday. The Fat Kid did not attend any parties
because the only parties he gets invited to are the ones he throws but he doesn’t really care because his parties are the best anyway, so no I’m not trying to make you feel guilty for not inviting me to your barbecue, jk, just kidding, wait you really had a barbecue and didn’t invite me? asshole because he was busy still cleaning up the remnants from his Memorial Day party. Don’t judge the Fat Kid. Have you ever tried removing marshmallow from your stove top after an ill-advised Tecate induced 2am S’Mores session?
He didn’t even have a beer there was so much cleaning to be done. So Un-American of him.
I know what you’re thinking. Fat Kid, national holidays are made for people like you. Labor Day is one of the few days out of the year you can eat burgers and fries and drink as much as you want and still throw on your bathing suit and jump in the pool without judgement. You have to take advantage of those days.
Well, listen up. I may not have attended a party, but…
OF COURSE I HAD A BURGER AND FRIES. I’M NOT A F—ING TERRORIST.
Happy September y’all.
The Fat Kid