I need the number of a fro yo delivery service stat.
Skinny appetizer!!! pic.twitter.com/FTrmgK0t
I wouldn’t marry this but I’d definitely hit it a couple of times a week. pic.twitter.com/QfnGXhHM
The day isn’t over but my chances of going to the gym are.
I’d Instagram my meal from last night but I think I ate my phone.
If I got paid to eat dessert I’d be rich.
I don’t do cleanses, I do dessert.
No one wants to hear about your cleanse.
I went to the beach and wound up over eating.
The Fat Kid in Me loves the Olympics as much as he hates your Instagram Feed.
Would it make it less pathetic if I put some vodka in my iced tea while I watch the Glee 3D concert movie?
Watched Olympic videos from London for workout motivation, wound up pissed that our athletes have to talk to Seacrest.
Olympians make me feel bad about myself until I remember they all wind up working @thehomedepot and I’ve already worked there. Twice.
String cheese forces me to pull which burns calories thus negating any caloric intake, a la celery and the chewing of…
When I see “naturally” thin people at the gym, I start to devise plans for “accidentally” dropping dumbbells on their feet.
I sat through John Carter so I’d have an excuse to eat popcorn.
There’s 147 calories in a Twinkie, so technically I could have 10.2 on a 1500 calorie a day diet. #fatkidmath
