The day isn’t over but my chances of going to the gym are.
I’d Instagram my meal from last night but I think I ate my phone.
If I got paid to eat dessert I’d be rich.
I don’t do cleanses, I do dessert.
No one wants to hear about your cleanse.
I went to the beach and wound up over eating.
The Fat Kid in Me loves the Olympics as much as he hates your Instagram Feed.
Would it make it less pathetic if I put some vodka in my iced tea while I watch the Glee 3D concert movie?
Watched Olympic videos from London for workout motivation, wound up pissed that our athletes have to talk to Seacrest.
When I see “naturally” thin people at the gym, I start to devise plans for “accidentally” dropping dumbbells on their feet.